Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
