Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
