Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
