HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
