oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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