glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
