Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
