This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
