last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
