so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
