Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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