she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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