ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
