actually, I'm a sock model
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
