My friends, they love my intelligence
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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