im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
