just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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