actually, I'm a sock model
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
