carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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