You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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