Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
