gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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