GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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