My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
