If i come over, it means nothing
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
