I'm laying in your front yard are you home
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
