I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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