I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize