WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
