He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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