she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
