I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
