So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
