You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
