handjob tips. give me some.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
