Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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