p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
