so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
