i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
