Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
