I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
