on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
