I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
