ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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