yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
