i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
