I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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