is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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