My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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