She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
