He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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