I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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