just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
