I don't think brook has ever known best
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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