Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
