Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
