Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You pole danced in your parka.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
