I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
