i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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