I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
