Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
