How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
