Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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