Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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