i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My cat gives me a boner
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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