I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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