this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
