we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
