I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
