apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
vagina is talking i cant
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
how does that bad decision feel?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
