Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
