I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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