my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
